7 Powerful Strategies to Help You Get Through Those Days When You Just Want to Give Up on Your Dream

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I’m not usually one to focus my time and energy on things that aren’t working because I’m acutely aware that “What we focus on grows and expands” and all of that.

And yet, I also think there’s enormous value in sharing our vulnerability and real-life struggles so that we know we’re not alone and so that we can help each other through them. And sometimes we have days where it all just feels really hard.

Running your own business can feel like a lot of hustle for little return at times. Some days it’s not fun at all. Click To Tweet

And it’s OK to feel that way every now and then. It’s part of the natural cycle of things. But it’s important that we find ways to lift ourselves up out of them as quickly as possible.

Today I had one of those days when I sat down at my desk and I couldn’t find my mojo. I’d had a couple of deflating incidents that took the wind out of my sails. My head was full of thoughts like “Who’s going to care if I don’t coach or offer anything today. Maybe I should just go back to my old corporate job.” … and a tirade of other unpleasant thoughts.

It can be hard to pull myself out of those moments at times.

We all have days when everything feels too hard.

I know I do, and they were especially frequent in in the beginning. I quit my previous corporate career in 2011 after more than fifteen years as a Consulting Engineer. I had finally chosen to follow my heart’s desire to become an entrepreneur because it’s in my blood. I adore freedom, flexibility, adventure, creativity, action, fast-pace living, and creating things that weren’t there before. And I felt that starting my own business was the natural solution to my professional woes.

“The struggle you feel today will offer you the strength you’ll need tomorrow.”

Ross Simmonds

But I had completely underestimated how hard it would be going back to ground zero.

I was an Engineer who had decided to become a Coach. I had to start all over again in a new field in which I knew very little, had few connections, and required new skills and competencies that were outside of what I’d always known.

“Starting your own business is like riding a roller coaster, with big highs and big lows. Be strong, hold your stomach tight, and enjoy the ride.”

Unknown

One of Sydney’s rising start-up entrepreneurs Jon Westenberg said recently:

“If you don’t have a plan to make money, all you have is an expensive hobby.”

Jon Westenberg

And sometimes my building my business has felt like a expensive hobby at times – until I found the right mentors. Finding Marnie and her team at Fempire was the saving grace that allowed me to finally turn things around and set things up to start flourishing and thriving. An important lesson I’ve learned along the way is:

There is no quick fix, no overnight solution to building your business. Click To Tweet

It takes a lot of consistent, hard work before you begin to see the fruits of your hard labour. And you absolutely must surround yourself with experienced mentors who have walked the path before you.

There are days when it’s hard to get motivated. It can be hard going it alone. It’s hard being the sole person responsible for generating income from your business. If you don’t work, no money comes in. I’ve read all the promises of the 4-hour work week and ‘passive income’ and while they sound great, it’s much harder to implement in reality.

If you ever get into one of those downward spirals of despair and negativity, here are some strategies to pull yourself back up and out of it and inspired yourself to keep working towards your dreams – because you WILL get there, and you must! The world needs your precious and unique gifts.

1.   Force yourself to step away from the desk and take a short break.

If you’re feeling negative, force yourself to step away from the desk. Any action you take while in that negative frame of mind is not going to be productive or inspired. It’s important to get yourself back into a good frame of mind before attempting to do anything at all. Do whatever it takes to re-center and re-align yourself.

2.   Get yourself out into nature and do something nourishing for your body, mind or soul.

Get outside into the garden, or go for a walk, or do something uplifting, comforting and nourishing for yourself.

3. Focus on what you love about working for yourself.

Take some time to remember the reasons you decided to work for yourself. Write them down. For example, I remember how much I love the complete freedom and flexibility of my schedule and my pure freedom of creative self-expression. I love the ability I have to work from home, to be there for my kids, and to focus my time on what I want, when I want. What is it that you love about working for yourself?

4. Remember WHY you’re doing it. And get inspired again by your goals.

When you’re in this state of mind, it’s important to reconnect with your VISION and your PURPOSE – your ‘big why’. I remind myself how much pain I felt when I couldn’t find my professional purpose and joy for the longest time. And I think of all the people who have told me how desperately they want to find their joyful business path and to live a life more aligned with their heart and soul and how I must help them. I take the time to go back and read my business inspiration and vision. And then I go back to the exciting goals and vision that I set for my year ahead.

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.”

Robert Louis Stevenson

5. Re-read some of the positive feedback from your clients and appreciate the areas where you have traction in your business.

Go back and read or simply remember some of the positive things people have said about your work and the impact you’ve made on them. And spend some time appreciating those areas of your business where you ARE experiencing flow, traction and momentum. Find a way to remember that your work matters and that people need and appreciate what you have to offer.

6. Remember that you’re making progress, even when you can’t yet see the fruits of your labour.

Building a business requires us to continuously plant seeds and they don’t always germinate when we’d like them to, or sometimes they don’t germinate at all. Some days I can feel disheartened when I feel like I’m not seeing any results of my hard work. But then I experience an unexpected surprise or breakthrough and I’m reminded that progress is always being made, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

“Most people give up just before they’re about to achieve success. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.”

Ross Perot

7. Don’t give up. You just may be on the verge of making a breakthrough! Reach out and get support.

No matter how bad your day is feeling, don’t give up. You might be just about to make a breakthrough. Keep your thoughts and energy focused on the vision you hold and how good it feels to be living your dream, on your own terms. Reach out, get support from the trusted mentors in your circle. It’s OK to ask for help – in fact, you must.

And if all else fails, take a day off, go and do something you love and tomorrow is another day. But most importantly, hang in there. Your people need you and your unique skills.

And if you need support, please reach out to us in the Fempire Academy for moral encouragement and advice on how to move forward. We’re here for you.

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Meet Our Newest Fempire Coach, Treah Knight!

My name is Treah Knight - I am a Fempire Coach, women’s empowerment advocate, writer, beach lover, wife, and mother to three beautiful kids. My mission in business is to empower women to step into their greatness with the right balance of grace, flow and grit and to help all women discover their true potential to create a heart-driven, profitable business that lights them up.

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27 Comments

  1. Maria Tsalkos

    Just what i needed t read today. persistence is paramount even when the strength to carry on isn’t.

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      I’m so glad my article helped you Maria! Some days it’s not easy… keep going 🙂 Big hugs, Kate x

      Reply
    • Marnie LeFevre

      You can do it Maria! We all believe in you here at Fempire! Can you hear the whistles and cheers from there? It’s loud! Keep going you’ve got this. Marnie x

      Reply
  2. Francie Jones

    I resonated with alot of the things written here. I’m so happy to see that I’m instinctively doing some things right according to the experts, and also happy to know that I am not alone in the struggles. I’m sooo looking forward to the journey of entrepreneurship, I get shivers thinking about the potential!! Looking forward to reading and learning more from Marnie and the Fempire crew!!

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      Hi Francie,
      You’re definitely not alone in your struggles! And yes while it’s super challenging at times, the journey of entrepreneurship is pretty awesome, I look forward to sharing the journey with you! Kate x

      Reply
    • Marnie LeFevre

      I was/am like that Francie, I’ll get all excited and lose sleep when planning my next business step! It’s so much fun being a fempreneur. I love this article by Fempire Coach, Kate De Jong, so much inspired, real, practical advice! Marnie x

      Reply
  3. Jamina Tubbing

    Great article, thank you. Forcing yourself to step away from your desk can be easier said than done when you’re in that busy mindset, but it aligns nicely with looking after yourself. Cup full first.

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      Hi Jamina!
      Yep I can absolutely relate to the struggle of stepping away from the desk… but sometimes it’s the most productive thing we can do, especially when we’re in a ‘funk’ of some kind.. yep cup full first 🙂 Big hugs, Kate x

      Reply
    • Marnie LeFevre

      Stepping away from the desk? What’s that?? Just jesting, it’s really important to me. I usually take time to go make myself a cuppa and if I’m working from home I’ll step outside in nature for a while and it feels oh so good and fresh when I return. Marnie x

      Reply
  4. Olivia Pratiwi

    Thank you for this inspiring article.
    It definitely sets the right mindset and perspective for embarking on my side hustle.

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      Hi Olivia!
      You’re so welcome, and yes mindset is everything in entrepreneurship! I look forward to hearing about your side hustle. Big hugs, Kate x

      Reply
  5. Natasha Mclarty

    WOW was this written for me!!!! Really enjoyed reading this Marnie and so relatable. x

    Reply
    • Marnie LeFevre

      Kate De Jong penned these words of wisdom Natasha…they’re inspiring right??!! Marnie x

      Reply
  6. Karis Harlon

    Great post Kate! I loved your tips to helping you get through the hump. I am really looking forward to meeting you.

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      Thanks so much Karis, I’m so glad the article was helpful – I’m really looking forward to meeting you too!

      Reply
  7. Ashley Hewitt

    WOnderfully inspiring read! Makes me want to get out there and follow my passion. Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • Marnie LeFevre

      Yes! Go do Ashley. When is NOW the right time!! 🙂 Marnie x

      Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      I’m so glad this helped you feel inspired Ashley! Go get ’em girl 🙂
      Kate x

      Reply
  8. Tia Ingle

    Excellent post! There are days my focus seems to go down the drain, specially when you are trying so hard and at times feel that those two steps forwards were negated by three backwards. Trying to persevere as one’s mojos have a tendency of going up and down like a yoyo

    Reply
    • Marnie LeFevre

      I hear you Tia! I experience the same thing sometimes. Just know we all believe in you here. You have a sisterhood in Fempire. Marnie x

      Reply
      • Kate De Jong

        Hi Tia,
        So lovely to hear from you! Yes it can be so hard at times, but don’t give up, you might be on the verge of a breakthrough! We’re all rooting for you here at Fempire and LOVE the work you do. Hang in there, lots of love, Kate x

        Reply
  9. Jenny Haig

    Great advice Kate, thank you. At present I’m struggling to get going.

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      Oh I’m sorry to hear that Jenny. I hope some of these strategies help you to find your mojo again. We’re all right behind you here at Fempire, hang in there – the world needs your beautiful work, Kate x

      Reply
  10. Katrina Needham

    Thank you for taking the time to write 7 fabulous steps to remind us of how to keep it all together.
    I’m not one for giving up on my dreams but I find having someone to reach out to when the road gets tough, is so necessary. Everybody needs a go-to-buddy when dreams seem to far away. Xoxo

    Reply
    • Kate De Jong

      Hi Katrina,
      So true, thank you so much for your comments. Yes, we all need a go-to-buddy, I couldn’t agree more! Good on you for never giving up on your dreams, Kate x

      Reply

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